Saturday, June 14, 2008

All Alone

EJ and I are all alone today.   DH is out working.   EJ is napping (soon to get up) and I'm sure she'll be cranky as her teeth should be coming through any day now.   It is raining cats and dogs here so I'm hesitant to go anywhere - we don't have an integral garage and I'd hate for her to get wet much as she's been sick the past few days.   It is tough to keep her covered and walk to the van - 1) she's heavy in that carrier and 2) she pulls the cover off since she likes to look around.  

I know she's about to get up because I'm starting to get sleepy - she was up around 4 times last night.    Memories of when she was only a few months old.  I *almost* forgot what that was like!   The thing that isn't good is that I'm starting to feel run down  - I understand now what everyone meant by "the momma isn't allowed to not feel well"....  

The other observation of motherhood that became apparent to me is that I no longer think of myself first - when I order anything foodwise - I'm always looking at the menu and thinking "what can she eat".   So even though she doesn't eat much - my plate is now based on her and not necessarilly on what I want.   Last weekend, we were at the ice cream stand and I wanted to get some chocolate flavored bliss with reese's cups - but I knew that she can't have chocolate or peanut butter and she'd want to taste mine... so it ended up being vanilla.   The funny thing is that I've been doing this for awhile and it just occured to me at the ice cream stand that mothers truly put their children first and don't even really think about it - it becomes second nature.   It makes me love and miss my mom even more.

2 comments:

Amy said...

Yep, I do the same thing at restaurants. The good thing about it is that I'm pretty anal about offering Heather veggies at every meal, so I'm eating more vegetables now than I was before she was eating solid food. :-)

I think there is always at least a secondary string of thought about Heather going through my brain at all times. It's something that dads don't seem to do, no matter how great the are with their kids.

Hope you had a good day!

essjay said...

I can see how you'd put her first in everything - what a major life change....but in such a good way. Sending lots of hugs.